


"World's greatest detective, my ass"

by siren_of_the_ocean



Series: Tim Drake AU's [29]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Hurt Tim Drake, Sick Tim Drake, Tim Drake's Missing Spleen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29020107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siren_of_the_ocean/pseuds/siren_of_the_ocean
Summary: “Lucius. I am so sorry. I have no idea how I overslept so badly. Please tell Tam I’m sorry and that I’ll buy her a new dress if she doesn’t kill me. I’ll apologize to the board members. I’ll even try to make it sound sincere. Please. I can be there in like 20 minutes”“Tim Drake-Wayne. I can’t believe you called in so panicked because you missed a meeting and then somehow just did not notice that someone performed a surgery on you. They removed a whole organ, Tim. And you’re more worried about a whole bunch of old stuffy white men” Tam says into the phone, still laughing and having to stop intermittently because of raucous laughter that escapes her lips.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Lucius Fox, Tim Drake & Tam Fox
Series: Tim Drake AU's [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853161
Comments: 15
Kudos: 206





	"World's greatest detective, my ass"

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a medical professional! I have no idea what I'm talking about!

Beep   
Beep   
Beep

“Huh?” Tim grumbles as he turns in his sleep, feeling something pull at the crook of his arm but not paying much mind to it as his body refuses to obey his mind’s orders to get up.   
He has a bad feeling about something. 

“Wha even? Why?” Tim continues to grumble as the beeping continues, unharboured by his groans and pleas for “Just 5 more minutes”.   
Usually, Tim would wake up relatively easily. But Tim also remembers that he had an all-nighter last night and that he had fallen asleep at his desk. Neither conductive to waking up.   
One of his siblings must have moved him while he slept because Tim doesn’t feel keyboard keys digging into his cheek. He also notices that he’s laying down on something softer than the ground would be and is currently covered with a blanket. 

Such nice siblings.   
Tim might even forgive them for trying to murder him. 

Beep.   
Beep.   
Beep. 

“Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?” Tim grumbles again, reaching out for his nightstand and knocking the back of his hand against it painfully.   
Once Tim has a firm grip on what he assumes is his phone, he clicks the power button and slowly opens a single eye. Hisses at the bright light piercing into his fragile cornea and then blinks to clear the bright spots from his vision as his pupil dilates to adjust. 

11:19

“Shit!” Tim exclaims, eyes wide open now as his head jerks up from where he’d rested it on the pillow, still under the impression it was early in the morning.   
“Shit. Shitty shit shit” Tim mumbles as his fingers fumble with his phone, still impeded by the fatigue in Tim’s bones as he tries to reach Lucius’ contact.   
When Tim eventually manages to dial Lucius, he drops his head into the pillow in front of him with a whine. Tam is going to murder him. There was a board meeting today that Tim apparently slept through. Lucius might be less willing to kill Tim but he’ll still make Tim apologize to every single board member. Personally. Because he can be cruel too. 

The rings seem offset by the beeping still in the background of Tim’s room and Tim spares a second to wonder where the beeping is coming from, if not his phone before Lucius picks up. 

“Wayne enterprises. Lucius Fox speaking” Lucius says with cheer that Tim knows is false but sounds ever so real.   
“Lucius. I am so sorry. I have no idea how I overslept so badly. Please tell Tam I’m sorry and that I’ll buy her a new dress if she doesn’t kill me. I’ll apologize to the board members. I’ll even try to make it sound sincere. Please. I can be there in like 20 minutes” Tim rambles, trying and failing to get his body to respond to his mind’s frantic thoughts. 

Tim can technically make it to WE in 20 minutes. If he skips breakfast. And dresses while he walks. And takes the fast car. And ignores every single traffic law made by man.   
He could do it.   
If only is legs would actually respond. 

“Tim. Tim” Lucius starts and he sounds a worrying mixture between “done with life” and “I care for these idiots. Don’t ask me why” as he breathes deeply for a moment. Tim doesn’t raise his head from the pillow, just sighing into it as he awaits his fate.   
“Tim Drake. You are an idiot” Tam’s voice comes through the speaker instead and Tim immediately goes tense because that’s Tam’s “I’m going to make you suffer with no coffee and lots of paperwork” voice.   
His head lifts involuntarily to stare at the screen in horror, betrayal that Lucius would sic his ruthless daughter on him like this. 

“Tim. Listen to me. Are you really phoning my dad to apologize for being late?”  
“Yyyyyeeeeeeesssss” Tim admits hesitantly, not knowing what is going to set Tam off. 

Instead, she just lets out a huff of laughter that quickly turns hysterical before Lucius’s voice is back in Tim’s ear.   
“What? Lucius? Did I miss something important? Did one of the board members sell off WE? What is Even Going On?” Tim asks, voice turning slightly hysterical now as his eyes widen to saucers. 

“Tim. Calm down. Firstly, the board meeting was cancelled because one of the attendants called in sick. Secondly, your family let us know you weren’t going to come in today.   
Thirdly, Tim. You were the one that called in sick” Lucius explains slowly. 

“I did not call in sick” Tim refutes  
“No. You didn’t. But your family was kind enough to inform us that you weren’t coming in because your appendix had burst in the middle of the night” Lucius says, exasperation in his tone. 

Tim freezes. 

Appendix? His appendix had what? His family had told Lucius what?  
Then, slowly, as Tim’s mind works through the last of the panic, the beeping starts to register again as Tim slowly lets his eyes drift down to the crook of his elbow where an IV is inserted and then slowly drifts back to a machine next to his bed that he hasn’t noticed. 

Beep  
Beep  
Beep

His heartrate monitor intones next to him. 

And Tim just hangs his head in shame. Really, Tim had been tired. And he thinks that having some sort of drug in his system would excuse him. But this is humiliating.   
Lucius might guess that by the groan Tim lets out, muffling it by dropping his head into his pillow because he starts laughing too. 

“Tim Drake-Wayne. I can’t believe you called in so panicked because you missed a meeting and then somehow just did not notice that someone performed a surgery on you. They removed a whole organ, Tim. And you’re more worried about a whole bunch of old stuffy white men” Tam says into the phone, still laughing and having to stop intermittently because of raucous laughter that escapes her lips. 

“Tam” Tim whines, muffling it into the pillow still as her laughter escalates even further, breath hitching. But that doesn’t stop Tam. Doesn’t even phase her.   
Tim stops trying to make her stop and just completely collapses into the bed, face smushed into the pillow as he tries to muffle the laughter coming from his phone. It does not work. 

“Well to be fair. Alfred did say that the appendicitis set on abnormally quickly because. You know. Missing spleen and all. But I didn’t think you’d just. Not. Notice”   
“Taaaaaammmmmm”  
“This is just too funny. You will never live this down, Tim. Never” 

“Ok. Now. My CEO needs rest to recover from a surgery” Lucius starts before he’s interrupted by Tam saying “That he didn’t even know he had” and continuing to speak “Go back to bed, Tim” 

And Tim doesn’t fight that, just hides his blushing face again as Tam’s laughter is brought to an abrupt halt as the phone call halts. Leaving Tim in silence with the wretched beeping. 

Beep  
Beep  
Beep. 

And that’s when Tim decides “Hey. I can avoid reality for a little bit longer”, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders before he closes his eyes again.   
Everything else is Later-Tim’s problem.


End file.
